Parenting Styles And The Outcomes They Produce.
We have often heard people saying that parenting is one of the hardest and most thankless jobs in the world. But is it that difficult to raise children? While a significant number of parents will say yes, child experts and psychiatrists have a different opinion. According to them, a misbehaving child is the product of a misbehaved couple of parents. Children often reflect what their parents do and say, and that plays a huge role in how we raise our kids. After performing various tests, surveys, and consultations, experts in child behavioural problems have come to the conclusion that parents use 1 of 4 common parenting styles to raise their children. Here is a closer look at each one.
Strict parents are those that believe in “my or the highway.” They set down strict rules for their children which are meant to obey very stringently. Commanding is an understatement when it comes to these parents as they look to control their kids’ every movement. These are the parents that don`t encourage their children to challenge things or find solutions to problematic situations on their own. Instead, they believe that if their children follow their rules obediently, they can never do wrong.
These parents believe in punishment instead of important outcomes when their children made mistakes. Authoritarian parents, more often than none, scar their children both physically and emotionally which cause them greater harm than defining what they did wrong.
It is this obsessive control that makes the children of these authoritarian parents, weak and timid. Their lack of self-belief or self-esteem diminished to a near zero percent. The children grow up only to follow orders because that is the only thing they know how to do well. They don`t try to think outside the box and voice their opinion because of the constant submission they faced in their childhood. There are cases where these children grow up to be extremely aggressive because of the kind of abuse they received as kids.
Similar to how authoritarian parents demand the best from their children, authoritative parents do so as well, but with a lot more consideration to the children’s feelings and emotions. They look to find the perfect balance between being strict and giving their kids space to grow as individuals. Although authoritative parents display as assertiveness towards their children, they do not lay down any hard and fast restrictions for them. They are always open to challenges and encourage their children to question things and find reasonable solutions to problems themselves.
Even when their children do make mistakes, they believe in an important method of teaching rather than punishing.
These parents have an “if you don`t make mistakes, you will never learn” attitude which has a positive influence on the children while growing up.
Through various tests, results have proven that children raised by authoritative parents turn out to be well-adjusted individuals. They are confident, active, and extremely sociable. They look to find solutions to problems and evaluate the risks involved in them. Independence is what these children grow up with and usually pass that down to their children as well. As you see, this is the most useful approach out of the four parenting styles.
The complete opposite parenting style to Authoritarian and Authoritative, Permissive Parenting leaves the child with the possibility to make mistakes and learn from them too. With no rules and lack of discipline, parents who follow this method are relatively lenient and only interfere in their child’s problems when it goes out of control. In such scenarios, you may find that the child could misbehave and that is mere because of the attitude of their parents.
Parents treat their child more like a friend and rarely scold or punish them but tend to talk to them about their problems without giving them any advice or showing them what’s right from wrong in this style of parenting. Research states that kids who grow up with Permissive parents tend to be sadder, develop behavioral issues, have a very low self-esteem, struggle with their academics and overall do not appreciate rules or authority, be it by any individual.
Uninvolved Parenting style is very common, and studies have found that children all over the globe are being affected by it. This style of parenting leaves the child completely neglected. Parents do not have the time to take care of their of spring and leave them to fend for themselves. Some parents do not even take their child’s basic needs into consideration. Some may say it is because of lack of parenting skills and the development of the child, or maybe because of personal mental health problems or maybe they are too wrapped up in their lives.
With barely any rules or regulations children are raised in an environment where he or she is allowed to do as he or she pleases. Uninvolved parents have no idea as to what is going on in their child’s life and take no heed of their children’s feelings and emotions. With no guidance and love, no nurturing and happiness, children with Uninvolved parents usually grow up with low self-esteem and exhibit occasional behavioral issues. Due to this they are not able to perform well in their academics too and are always found unhappy.
Not all parents have one particular style of bringing up their child. Some parents may choose different situations and circumstances on how they address their child and the problem. Parenting styles also depend on the nature of the child. Some parents may opt to be authoritative at times, and sometimes they choose to be Permissive, depending on the discipline strategies.
It is often good to allow your child to learn and develop the best way he or she can, but a parent can ensure that the child gets enough guidance and support to make the correct decision without feeling any pressure. Deciding on a discipline strategy is the first thing a parent must work on so that they can decipher what their child needs and wants to learn.